SIGNS YOU HAVE HAD
TOO MUCH OF THE 90's
* You tried to enter your password on the
microwave.
* You now think of three espressos as
"getting wasted."
* You haven't played solitaire with a real
deck of cards in years.
* You have a list of 15 phone numbers to
reach your family of 3.
* You e-mail your son in his room to tell
him that dinner is ready and he e-mails you back asking, "What's for dinner?"
* Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies
via her web site.
* You chat several times a day with a
stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this
year.
* You didn't give your valentine a card
this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.
* Your daughter just bought a C.D. of all
the records your college roommate used to play.
* You check the ingredients on a can of
chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
* You check your blow dryer to see if it's
Y2K compliant.
* Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail
Inbox, asking you to send her JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
* You pull up in your own driveway and use
your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
* Your reason for not staying in touch with
family is that they do not have email addresses.
* If you can't order it by midnight and
have it delivered by noon the next day, it is just too slow.
* Your Stockbroker's name ends in .com.
* A Blind date means chatting online with
someone you haven't met before.
* Keeping up with sports means having your
favorite sports teams as Bookmarks.
* Most of your books are bought online.
"Real world" bookstores are now prized as your favorite cafe to hang out, work
and meet people of the opposite sex.
* Your food in the refrigerator has been
there so long some, that you have received a grant from the National Institute for Health
to do germ research.
* You lecture the neighborhood kids selling
lemonade on ways to improve their efficiency.
* You get all excited when it's Saturday
and you can wear sweats to work.
* You find you really need Power Point to
explain what kind of work you do.
* You normally eat out of vending machines
and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
* You apologize to your friends who didn't
get holiday cards from you. "Sorry, I only sent "email cards" this year,
you just didn't make the cut."
* You think a "half-day" means
leaving at 5 o'clock.
* You get most of your jokes via email
instead of in person.
* Cleaning up the dining area means getting
the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
* You actually faxed your Christmas list to
your parents.
* Your idea of being organized is multiple
colored post-it notes.
* Your grocery list has been on your
refrigerator so long some of the products don't even exist any more.
* You know the people at the airport hotels
better than you know your next door neighbors.
* You think Einstein would have been more
effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
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