"YOU
KNOW WHAT THEY SAY..." DISPUTED
"Everything Comes In
Threes" - Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when
three "ones" come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the
way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They
were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.
"You Can't Take It With You
(when you die)" - Well, that depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue
suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, you
can probably put some things in your pockets.
"You Learn Something New Every
Day" - Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you've just
learned it, doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it, Columbus is a good
example of this.
"The Sky's The Limit"
- Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends. What kind of a limit is that?
The earth is the limit. You dig a hole and what do you keep getting? More earth. The earth
is the limit.
"You Get What You Pay
For" - Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? Only a
very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you
check your purchases carefully, you'll find that you get whatever they feel like giving
you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.
"Tomorrow Is Another Day"
- Not necessarily true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to
be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the
first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it will be today again.
"Nice Guys Finish Last"
- Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six.
Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed
that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can see how limited those people were.
"If You've Seen One, You've
Seen Them All" - Do we even have to talk about this one? This should be
obvious. If you've seen one, you've seen ... one. If you've seen them all, *then* you've
seen them all. I don't even understand how this one got started.
"Those were the days"
- No. Those were the nights! Think back. Weren't the nights better? Days you had to work.
Nights you went to parties, danced, drank and got laid. "Those were the nights!"
"There's no such thing as a
free lunch" - What about when you eat at home? I don't pay when I eat lunch
at home - it's FREE! Sometimes I'll leave a tip, but basically, it's a free lunch. Yes, I
know we had to buy the food at the store. But as the Zen Buddhists say, 'The Food Is Not
the Lunch'.
* "You pay your money and you
take your chances" - I think what I said earlier still applies" You
pays your money and you takes whatever they jolly well give you. Actually, when you get
right down to it, you pays your money and you loses your money.
"Everybody has his price"
- Not so. Would you believe there are millions of people who do not have their price?
Thanks to a government mix-up, many people have their neighbors price.
"They don't make 'em like they
used to" - Actually they do make 'em like they used to, they just don't sell
'em anymore. They make 'em, and then they keep 'em.
"Two wrongs don't make a
right" - Well, it just so happens that two wrongs do make a right. Not only
that, but as the number of wrongs increases, the whole thing goes up exponentially. So
that while two wrongs make one right, and four wrongs make two rights, it actually takes
sixteen wrongs to make three rights, and 256 wrongs to make four rights. It seems to me
that anyone who is stringing together 256 wrongs needs counseling, not mathematics.
"If it's not one thing, it's
another" - No, not always. Sometimes if it's not one thing, not only is it
not another, but it turns out to be something else entirely.
"You can't win them all"
- Not true. Believe it or not, there is a man somewhere in Illinois who, so far, has won
them all. But don't get too excited; it has also been discovered that it is possible to
lose them all. By the way, there is no record of anyone having tied them all.
"You can't have it both
ways" - That depends on how intimately you know the other person. Maybe you
can't have it both ways at once, but if you've got a little time, you can probably have it
six or seven ways.
"Things have to get better,
they can't get any worse" - This is an example of truly faulty logic. Just
because things can't get any worse, is no reason to believe they have to get better. They
might just stay the same. And, by the way, who says things can't get any worse? For many
people, things get worse and worse and worse and worse.
"Nobody ever said that life
was fair" - I specifically remember as I was growing up, at least twelve
different people, telling me life was fair. One person put it this way; "Life, you
will find, is fair." Oddly enough, all twelve of those people died before the age of
twenty-seven.
"It takes two to Tango"
- Sounds good, but simple reasoning will reveal that actually it takes only one to tango.
It does take two to tango together, maybe. But one person is certainly capable of tangoing
on his own. He just might look a little silly.
"There's a sucker born every
minute, and two to take him" - This may have been true in the past, but now,
if you adjust for the increased population base, birth control, and the so-called moral
decline, not only are there five suckers born every minute, there are now fifty-three to
take him.
"What you don't know won't
hurt you" - Why don't we just ask Julius Caesar and John F. Kennedy about
this one?
"Life is short"
- Sorry. Life is not short, it's just that everything else lasts so long -mountains,
rivers, stars, planets - life seems short. Actually life lasts just the right amount of
time. Until you die. Death on the other hand....is very, very short.
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