WISDOM FROM THE
WALLS OR STALLS
The same guy who removes the cigarette
butts from the urinal, also puts the ice in your drinks.
*Sign by a urinal.
Those drinking to forget please pay in advance.
*Sign seen in a bar.
If you can piss this high, join the fire department.
*On the wall in the men's restroom at the height of 6 feet at O'Ryan's Irish Pub in
Ashland, Oregon.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
*Revolution Books in New York, New York.
What are you looking at the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
*Men's restroom at Lynagh's in Lexington, Kentucky.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
*The Irish Times in Washington, D.C.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her
shit.
*Men's room at Linda's Bar and Grill in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
*Perkin's Library at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted
together and have the time of our lives.
*Armand's Pizza in Washington, D.C.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
*Rest stop off Route 81 in West Virginia.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
*The Bayou in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
To do is to be.-Descartes
To be is to do.-Voltaire
Do be do be do.-Frank Sinatra
*Men's restroom at Greasewood Flats in Scottsdale, Arizona.
If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
*Smokey Joe's in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Make love, not war! Hell, do both, get married!
*Women's restroom at The Filling Station in Bozeman, Montana.
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble
with it.
*Women's restroom at Dick's Last Resort in Dallas, Texas.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
*Men's restroom at American University in Washington, D.C.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
*Men's restroom at the House of Representatives in Washington, D.C.
Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
**Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
MISC NOTES ON THE
BATHROOM WALL
Driving down the highway,
doing 94
grandma laid another one, blew me out the door.
The engine couldn't take it and the motor fell apart
all because my grandma had to rip a giant fart...
Fe Fi Fo Fum grandma laid another one
Fe Fi Fo Fum bigger than the other one.
Birdie birdie
In the sky
Why did you poopoo
In my eye?
I didn't sigh
And I didn't cry
Just thank God
That cows don't fly!
I've
shit in
London
I've shit in France
But before I shit here
I'll shit in my pants!
Some come here to sit and
think,
Others come here to shit and stink.
I come here to scratch my balls
and read the writing on the walls.
My wife follows me
everywhere.
{and right below it:}
I do not!!
"This is where Napoleon
pulled his Bonaparte."
In days of old when knights
were bold
and toilets were not invented
They'd lay their load beside the road
and walk away contented.
In days of old when knights
were bold
and rubbers were not invented
They'd tie a sock around their cock
and babies were prevented.
Here I sit with raging shits
just about to lose my wits
This teepee
For pee pee
Not wigwam
For beating tom-tom.
As I sit, I Contemplate,
Should I shit or masturbate?
How dry I am.
How wet I'll be.
If I don't find the bathroom key.
I found the key.
I opened the door.
It's too late now.
It's on the floor.
Here I sit so broken hearted
Came to shit, but only farted
Then one day
I took a chance
Thought I'd fart
But shit in my pants!
Liquor, Wine, Beer, No
Matter
I Drank Until I filled My Bladder.
And as I read the Crap House
News,
I somehow Pissed On Both My Shoes.
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