JOHN GLENN JOKES
REASONS NO ONE WANTS
TO GO INTO SPACE WITH JOHN GLENN AGAIN
10. The horror of seeing the effects of
G-Forces on wrinkles.
9. Kept using the Hubble to find his
glasses.
8. Every time he sneezed, his teeth flew
out.
7. Forgot where he was each morning, kept
grabbing for Scott while calling him "Annie".
6. Constantly complaining about being
"Stiff all over" while eyeing Chiaki.
5. Couldn't get him to stop doing the
"Viagra" experiment.
4. When warned, "There's a Meteor
Shower ahead", he thought they said, "Shower cause he'd peed the bed".
3. Couldn't seem to ever attach his urinal
bag properly.
2. There's a real good reason why we call
old men "Old Farts".
1. The Prunetang worked, but the Depends
didn't.
JOHN GLENN'S RETURN
TO SPACE LIST
* Will Glenn leave the left turn signal on
all the way to the moon?
* Can the main rocket booster be operated
with a Clapper?
* Will AARP now offer 10% discounts to
senior citizens on space flights?
* Will the test for the non-gravity Depends
be successful?
* Will Glenn wander away from the
spacecraft and forget where he is?
* Will the main cabin have night lights so
he can find the bathroom?
* Will he hit the accelerator instead of
the brakes upon re-entry?
* Will he find other applications for
Dentu-Creme in outer space?
* Will Glenn beam down live commercials for
Geritol?
* Will other politicians follow his lead
and launch themselves into space?
* Will a shuffle board be installed in the
cargo bay?
* Will one monitor be specifically
designated for Matlock?
* Will little bowls of candy scattered
randomly about the ship?
* Will the top speed of shuttle beset at 25
miles per hour?
* Will a new bifocal windshield be
installed?
* Will space pants now go up to armpits?
* Will the left blinker be left on for
entire mission?
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