I'M
A SENIOR CITIZEN
- I'm the life of the party... even when it
lasts 'till 8pm.
- I'm very good at opening childproof caps
with a hammer.
- I'm usually interested in going home
before I get to where I'm going.
- I'm good on a trip for at least an hour
without my aspirin, antacid...
- I'm the first one to find the bathroom
wherever I go.
- I'm awake many hours before my body
allows me to get up.
- I'm smiling all the time because I can't
hear a word you're saying.
- I'm very good at telling stories...over
and over and over and over.
- I'm aware that other people's
grandchildren are not as bright as mine.
- I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye
care, private care, dental care.
- I'm not grouchy, I just don't like
traffic, waiting, children, politicians...
- I'm positive I did housework correctly
before the Internet.
- I'm sure everything I can't find is in a
secure place.
- I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's
just my left leg.
- I'm having trouble remembering simple
words like... uh...
- I'm now spending more time with my
pillows than with my mate.
- I'm realizing that aging is not for
sissies.
- I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and
enjoying it less.
- I'm sure they are making adults much
younger these days.
- I'm in the *initial* state of my golden
years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.
- I'm wondering, if you're only as old as
you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
- I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat,
anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.
- I'm supporting all movements now... by
eating bran, prunes and raisins.
- I'm a walking storeroom of facts... I've
just lost the key to the storeroom.
- I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am
having the time of my life... Aren't I?
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