SIGNS A CANDIDATE DESPERATELY WANTS YOUR
VOTE
Copyright 2000 by Chris White
www.topfive.com
12. Not only appears naked in your shower
with the words "Vote For Me!"painted on his chest every morning, he keeps
hogging the water.
11. A winking well-dressed Congressman
drops off a note saying that your driving record has been "taken care of."
10. "My, that's an attractive outfit
you're wearing today, Mrs. Undecided Voter!"
9. "I've got twin daughters, if you
know what I mean."
8. Campaign signs you see on your way to
work: "Vote for me, Tod Linger!" Your name? Tod Linger.
7. He French kisses the baby.
6. "Okay, the laundry is done, your
car has been detailed and the toilet is finally unclogged. Are you ready for your Swedish
massage now?"
5. Every stoplight, there he is with a
squeegee.
4. "Dude! I scored some killer weed...
meet me Tuesday in the middle school gymnasium... Tuesday. Middle School. In the
gymnasium. Seriously. Dude? Dude?"
3. Not only guarantees a tax cut for every
household, also guarantees that "Star Wars Episode II" will not suck as badly as
"Star Wars Episode I."
2. This election year, that "giant
sucking sound" is coming from under your desk.
1. He delays your execution until November
8th.
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