BILL'S QUESTIONS FOR
THE NEW WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY
* "Does cigar smoke bother you?"
* "How many lies per minute can you
type?"
* "You wouldn't ask a lot of questions
if the President had to hide a girl in your podium, would you?"
* "How long can you stare at Sam
Donaldson without giggling at his hairpiece?"
* "Are you willing to work for Al Gore
in a few months?"
* "Please state, in 100 words or more,
absolutely nothing."
* "Would you talk on the phone with
the President while he's 'otherwise engaged'?"
* "Do you give your word that you will
do your best -- just kidding, like someone's word means anything around here."
* "Would you mind having sex with
Hillary once in a while?"
* "Is your wife cute?"
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