YOU WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT IF...
* You understand the rationalization of an
acronym comprised of acronyms.
* You can name the project leader of more
than 10 projects including your own, but still can't explain in the simplest terms what
they do.
* You know that the location of a meeting
is directly related to it's importance. (1) A meeting at Fort Hood requires a subordinate
or a contractor. (2) The same meeting at Lake Tahoe requires your personal attention.
* You work for an acronym, on an acronym,
and your job title is an acronym.
* You've sat at the same desk for 3 years,
done the same thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.
* The process becomes more important than
the product.
* You don't see anything wrong with
attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.
* You feel you contributed to the meeting
just by being there.
* You realize that a paperless office is
impossible. Actually, you believe it is possible, just not in your office.
* You keep documents/manuals on projects
that have been long since canceled.
* You stop raising issues/problems because
you know you will be the one answering them.
* You fly across the country to attend a
conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not have enough
money.
* You've sat at the same desk for 4 years
and worked for three different agencies.
* Your name plate is attached with Velcro.
* Your resume is on a diskette in your
pocket.
* The office symbol on your badge is
applied with tape.
* When someone asks about what you do for a
living, you lie.
* You get really excited about a 2% pay
raise.
* Your biggest loss from a system crash is
that you loose your best jokes.
* Your supervisor doesn't have the ability
to do your job.
* You sit in a cubicle smaller than your
bedroom closet.
* You think lunch is just a meeting to
which you drive.
* It's dark when you drive to and from
work.
* Fun is when issues are assigned to
someone else.
* Communication is something your group is
having problems with.
* You see a good looking person and know it
is a visitor.
* Free food left over from meetings is your
main staple.
* Weekends are those days your spouse makes
you stay home.
* Being sick is defined as can't walk or
you're in the hospital.
* Art involves a white board.
* You're already late on the assignment you
just got.
* You work 200 hours for the $100
performance check and jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!"
* Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
* Your boss' favorite lines are "when
you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed
up," and "I have an opportunity for you."
* Vacation is something you roll over to
next year.
* Your relatives and family describe your
job as "works with computers."
* Change is the norm.
* Nepotism is encouraged.
* The only reason you recognize your kids
is because their pictures hang in your cube.
* You only have makeup for fluorescent
lighting.
* You can name more people that used to
work with you than people who do.
 
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