WAYS
TO ANNOY OTHERS IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM
The next time you are in a public restroom
do one or more of the following:
* Stick your open palm under the stall wall
and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
* Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have
put my lips on that."
* Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody
breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
* Say, "Damn, this water's cold."
* Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My
glass eye!"
* Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that
color before."
* Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds
and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
* Say, "Now how did that get
there?"
* Say, "Humus. Reminds me of
humus."
* Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew.
Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa!
Easy boy!"
* Say, "Interesting... more floaters
than sinkers."
* Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut
butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor.
Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
* Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall
asleep on me."
* Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush
into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while
you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame
it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
* Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a
maggot."
* Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole
was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
* Play a well known drum cadence over and
over again on your butt cheeks.
* Before you unroll toilet paper,
conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor
visible to the adjacent stall.
* Lower a small mirror underneath the stall
wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
 
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