YOU
HAVE A BAD AIRLINE PILOT WHEN...
- You overhear him say on the intercom,
"Hey, Pedro, What's this gizmo do?"
- For the past two hours, you've been going
straight up.
- He says, "We're cruising at an
altitude of 45 feet."
- Co-pilot is sitting on his lap.
- When you take off he yells,
"Weeeeeeeeee!"
- At some point he announces, "Screw
Chicago, let's go find that Mars observer!"
- He's wearing a Domino's Pizza uniform.
- Over P.A. you hear, "Heh, heh, heh,
this plane sucks, heh, heh, heh."
- As you get on the plane you recognize the
pilot as the same guy who drove your cab to the airport.
- Keeps referring to the control tower as
"Mommy."
- He keeps pacing up and down the aisle
muttering, "So many gauges, so little time."
- You're halfway to your destination and
he's still taxiing.
- Announces on the intercom that
"We're now passing over the Grand Canyon or the Panama Canal."
- During the descent, you're advised to
remain in your seat until the FAA investigators arrive.
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