THINGS
TO DO DURING AN INTERVIEW
* While shaking hands get into a heated
thumb wrestling match.
* Repeat everything your interviewer says,
keep going until he or she yells at you. Then ask if you got the job.
* Stick a piece of broccoli between your
front teeth, smile a lot.
* Sometime during the interview, frown and
sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he or she farted.
* Pick your nose and wipe contents
underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
* Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off,
roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
* In the beginning of the interview pull
out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s desk in front of you, then say, "Mind
if I rest this here during the interview?"
* Demand that if hired you want desk plate
that reads, "Big Kahuna."
* As you follow your interviewer to his or
her office kick out their heels so that they trip and fall on their face, laugh
uncontrollably.
* Show up in your jogging outfit, run in
place during the entire interview.
* Bathroom excuse #1: Excuse yourself to go
to the bathroom, as you walk out the door make a loud fart noise with your mouth then sigh
and say, "DARN!"
* Bathroom excuse #2: Excuse yourself to go
to the bathroom, come back with the entire front of your pants wet.
* Ask for a company Porsche.
* Comment on how much you like your
interviewer’s spouse’s picture, then take it and put it in your briefcase.
* Some time during the interview slip some
chiclets in your mouth, then sneeze as loud as you can launching entire contents in your
mouth in his or her face, cover your mouth and say, "I sink I loth by theeth."
* As you reach inside your briefcase pull
out a sock puppet, introduce him as "Socko" and harass your interviewer with it.
* During the interview reach over and grab
at your interviewer’s face and say, "Got your nose" while clenching your
fist, demand that you get hired or you won’t give back their nose.
* Chew tobacco, spit in pencil holder.
* Announce that you are committing a
hostile take over of the company, fire your interviewer.
* At the end of the interview end it with a
three stooges eye jab followed by a smack to the forehead finish it off with a,
"woo-woo-woo-woooooo....!"
 
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