Joe was moderately successful in his career
of choice, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by remarkably painful
headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life began to suffer, he sought medical
help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a
doctor who solved the problem.
The doctor said, "I have good
news, and I have bad news. The good news is that I can cure your headaches, the bad
news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes
your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one
hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the
testicles."
Joe was, of course, both shocked and
depressed. He indeed wondered if he even had anything to live for at this point.
Yet, he immediately decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital his mind was at
long last clear, but naturally he felt like he was missing an important part of
himself. As he walked down the street, he felt like an entirely different person. He
walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "I'll buy a new suit. Maybe
that will cheer me up."
He entered the shop and told the
salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and
said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how
did you know?" "It's my job," said the salesman. Joe
tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the
salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then
said, "Sure!" The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see
... 34 sleeve and ... 16 and a half neck." Joe was once again surprised,
"That's exactly right. How did you know?" "It's my job,"
said the salesman, very matter of factly. Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror,
the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll by this point
and said, "Well, sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said,
"Let's see ... nine and a half ... wide." Joe was astonished,
"That's right .... How did you know?" "It's my job," said the
salesman. Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and
the salesman asked, "So, how about a new hat?" Without hesitation,
Joe said, "Sure ...." The salesman eyed Joe's head and said,
"Let's see ... 7 5/8." Joe was incredulous. "That's
right. Man, how can you tell all of this?" "It's my job,"
reiterated the salesman. The hat fit perfectly.
Joe was feeling great, when the salesman
asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe hesitated for a second and
said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and
said, "Let's see ... size 36." Joe laughed, "No, I've
worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head,
"No, you can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up
against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
