TOP
10 WAYS TO GET FIRED
10. Day one: Start an official sounding
rumor about your boss being considered for a big promotion. Day two: Spread a rumor that
the promotion involves your boss heading up a new facility in Bosnia.
9. Whenever a co-worker asks if you want
coffee, say, "No thanks, it doesn't mix well with thorazine."
8. Attach 10 or so bottles of white-out to
the inside of your suit jacket. Every time you pass a co-worker, surreptitiously open your
jacket and whisper, "I got white-out here; three bucks a pop; good quality stuff; who
needs white-out?"
7. Bring several large mason jars to work
and fill them part way with water and yellow food coloring; display them conspicuously
around your work space. Tell anyone who asks about them that you are just taking part in
an efficiency study that your boss came up with to cut down on the time employees spend
away from their desks.
6. Tell your boss that you intend to spread
out your vacation time by taking off one minute out of every 25. Spend all your time
planning your vacations.
5. Secretly replace the coffee your boss
usually drinks with new Folger's Crystals.
4. Keep a tally of what your boss wears on
'casual' Friday. when you see a pattern develop, distribute the tally to co-workers and
start a weekly pool.
3. Dress like a pirate for the office
Halloween party. Dress like a pirate every other day of the year as well.
2. Sign up your boss as a volunteer for
Junior Achievement, Save The Children Foundation, Keep America Beautiful, the local branch
of the Seventh Day Adventist Church, UNICEF, Hands Across America, Points of Light
Foundation, and the kicker, AARP.
1. Show up hung-over, leave drunk.
 
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