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SIGNS YOU'RE MARRIED TO A COP

- When an argument starts, he calls for backup.

- Refers to the bedroom as "The Pokey."

- Calls passing gas the "silent alarm."

- Has a secret desire to see you in a Kevlar nightie.

- Lots of references to the "old night stick."

- Never hear him say, "Oh man, not donuts again!"

- Refers to his pecker as the "Breathalyzer"

- Stops you during lovemaking to ask if you know how fast you were going.

- Handcuffs don't turn him on anymore.

- Yes, that is a gun in his pocket!

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