SIGNS
YOU'VE CHOSEN A "NO FRILLS" AIRLINE
They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
All the insurance machines in the terminal
are sold out.
Before the flight, the passengers get
together and elect a pilot.
You cannot board the plane unless you have
the exact change.
Before you took off, the stewardess tells
you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip
in a little for gas.
When they pull the steps away, the plane
starts rocking.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get
the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes
crash and he says, "Just once."
No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps
flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, but he's
demanding to be let off the plane.
All the planes have both a bathroom and a
chapel.
 
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