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SIGNS YOU'RE AN OVERWEIGHT COP

- You spend a lot of your time trying to apprehend Big Macs.

- You have two holsters: One for your gun, one for Italian Sausage.

- The last time you saw your feet, "Kojak" was on in prime time.

- Instead of yelling "Freeze!" you yell "Fritos!"

- Even a patrol car's big block engine can't propel you more than 30 mph.

- You sometimes work undercover as a sofa.

- You take the phrase, "Take a bite out of crime" too literally.

- Several times a year, rescue workers have to use jaws of life to get you out of your squad car.

- Your ass is known as the fourth precinct.

- You're frequently used as a roadblock.

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