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SIGNS THE POLICE CHIEF DOESN'T LIKE YOU AS HIS EMPLOYEE

* He refers to you as "our mascot."

* Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol.

* Your locker is also the broom closet.

* The job description in your contract includes "crash test dummy" and "pepper-spray test subject."

* He sends you on drug raids - alone.

* He always tells you that only wussies call for back-up.

* He makes up "missing persons" and then sends you to look for them.

* You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead battery and a broken air conditioner.

* He lied to you about an "officer exchange program" and put you on a plane to Siberia.

* He doesn't like to be seen with you in public.

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