16
SIGNS YOUR TEACHER IS NUTS
Copyright 1998 Chris White The
Top Five List http://www.topfive.com
16. Even though you're all seniors, she
insists on having "Show 'n' Tell," just so she can show everyone that tattoo on
her ass again.
15. If you're late you have to sit up front
for a special lap dance.
14. Finishes introducing himself by saying,
"...and if I'd have known she was a statue, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near
her!"
13. Every morning the "current events
discussion" has the same topic: those panty-waist losers he served with in 'Nam.
12. Attempting to be cool, she says her
college roommate was Lilith Fair.
11. For the 182nd consecutive day: The
Zapruder Film
10. New haircut -- check. Fresh clean
blackboard -- check. Puddle under desk -- uh, oh.
9. She insists that a 36-year-old teacher
actually had a baby with a 13-year-old student.
8. Refusing to admit summers over, sits on
lawn chair at the front of the room and screams for the cabana boy to bring another Mai
Tai.
7. Eats paste 'n' crayon sandwiches that
melt all over his shirt.
6. Constantly hounding patent office about
his revolutionary in-pants lesson plan filing system.
5. Always cracks himself up by announcing,
"Now we're gonna go into Chapter 13... just like your parents!"
4. She keeps a tip jar on her desk.
3. Continually re-seats the class by outfit
color, so if you squint your eyes it looks like Manet's "Dejeuner sur L'Herbe."
2. Says that if he had his way, the biology
class would be dissecting "mall rats."
1. Constantly asking class if anyone knows
how to get blood stains off a clown suit.
 
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