YOU
MIGHT BE A TEXAS PEACE OFFICER IF...
- If your hat, belt and boots cost more
than your sidearm.
- If you know what a 'court gun' is.
- If you have a 'court gun'.
- If directions to a location involve
livestock, property descriptions, or the words "When you get off the pavement."
- If the winner of the last three bar room
brawls was last years Homecoming Queen.
- Dressing up for court involves pressed
Wranglers and a Brushpopper shirt.
- If anyone on the Department is named
'Bubba'.
- If you don't know Bubba's real name.
- If Bubba is his real name.
- If you've ever gotten a confession from a
critter by threatening him with either his Mama or God.
- If your interview for the job involved
the question: "Can you take a whuppin'?"
- If you have more weapons and ammunition
in your cruiser than most small nations have in their armies.
- If you've ever had an 'Officer Involved
Shooting' where the victim was a feral hog or other four-pawed critter with an appetite.
- If the caliber of your sidearm is
regarded as an artillery round in Europe.
- You've ever had to mediate a dispute
concerning the paternity of a litter of puppies.
- If you have the impression that the Feds
regard your department as being marginally more civilized than the Viking Hordes.
- If you think all back-up is 30 miles away
and asleep in bed.
- If you've ever gone to an emergency
wearing only your hat, pajamas, gun and boots.
- If spurs are a department-issued item.
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