HOW FOOTBALL IS
RELATIVE TO CHURCH
Quarterback Sneak - Church
members quietly leaving during the closing hymn.
Draw Play - What many
children do with the order of service during worship.
Half-time - The period
between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do
not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion -
Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
Staying in the Pocket -
What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
Two-minute Warning - The
point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children
and belongings.
Instant Replay - The
preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
Sudden Death - What
happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes
"overtime".
Trap - You're called on to
pray and are asleep.
End Run - Getting out of
church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
Flex Defense - The ability
to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option - The
decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
Blitz - The rush for the
restaurants following the closing prayer.
 
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