An 85-year-old couple, after being married
for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years,
mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercising.
When they reached the Pearly Gates, St.
Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master
bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all
this was going to cost.
"It's free," St. Peter replied.
"This is Heaven."
Next, they went out in the back yard to
survey the championship style golf course that the home bordered. They would have golfing
privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great
golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the greens fees?"
St. Peter replied, "This is heaven,
you play for free."
Next, they went to the club house and saw
the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out. "How much to
eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is
Heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied, with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low
cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
St. Peter lectured, "That's the best
part--you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you
never get sick. This is, after all, Heaven."
With that, the old man went into a fit of
anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and screaming wildly.
St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm
him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This
is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten
years ago!"
