CIGARETTE
WARNINGS
Recent Canadian government research has
shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage
of the male sexual "equipment."
Wow! If that is true, we need to get the
word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this
new information. How about something like this:
* Warning!: These cigarettes are king size
-- how about you?
* Warning!: Smoking sections in restaurants
aren't the only things getting smaller.
* Warning!: If you don't reduce your
smoking, your smoking will reduce you.
* Warning!: Smoking may lead to ridicule on
your honeymoon.
* Warning!: Smoke rises, but you may not.
* Warning!: Second-hand smoke can be
harmful to children -- That is... if you're capable of conceiving any.
* Warning!: Cigarettes get shorter the more
you puff -- so do you.
* Warning!: How can you enjoy a smoke
afterwards, if there's no before?
* Warning!: The only thing left after a
smoke is a dead stub.
* Warning!: Don't throw lit cigarettes in
the urinal -- you might not have the range to put them out.
 
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