SIGNS
YOU ARE A LOSER AT LOVE
- Phone sex operators keep hanging up on
you.
- Fox is starting a new show about you:
"America's Least Wanted."
- You get a heart-shaped box filled with
angry hornets.
- The babes just don't seem to go for your
homemade Star Trek uniform.
- You're taking private tutorials with
Jocelyn Elders.
- You have one of those handsome Ito beards
... and you're a woman.
- The last time you got laid was during the
Eisenhower administration.
- You spend your vacation chasin' lizards.
- The Pope asks you for tips on celibacy.
- You ain't a Gingrich, but your nickname's
"Newt."
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