The madam of a bawdy house answered the
ring of the bell and, on opening the door, she found standing there on the threshold, an
ancient, bearded gentleman in rabbi's garb.
"May I come in?" asked the rabbi
gently in an aged, quavering voice.
Feeling a little confused, the madam said,
"But rabbi, surely you must be in the wrong place. Here is where we..."
"I know what you do here,"
interrupted the rabbi. "You don't think I came here for chopped liver, do you? Bring
on the girls."
Still confused, but understanding her
professional duties, the madam had several girls line up. The rabbi tottered from one to
another until he reached Rose, a large redhead with enormous breasts. He looked at her
with appreciation and pointed, "Good! I'll take those."
The rabbi paid out the necessary sum and
Rosie led him upstairs. She helped him off with his coat and hung it up carefully on the
nail on the door. Then she helped him off with the rest of his clothes and got into bed.
There, to Rosie's astonishment, the rabbi
performed with an address and a skill that was unbelievable. In fact, Rosie, a hardened
professional, found herself surprised into orgasm.
As they lay in bed a few minutes
afterwards, relaxing, Rosie said, "How old are you, Rabbi?"
The rabbi said, "God has been good to
me. I am eighty-eight years old."
"That is certainly amazing. Listen,
Rabbi, if you're ever in the neighborhood again and if you should feel in the mood, please
ask for me ... Rosie. I would be delighted to oblige you."
The rabbi said, with a certain hauteur,
"What do you mean, if I should be in the mood again? Let me sleep for five minutes
right now and, believe me, I will be in the mood again."
"Really, Rabbi? Then please take a
nap."
"Okay."
The rabbi adjusted himself into a relaxed
position, face up, placed his arms across his chest and then said, "Wait one minute.
This is important. While I'm asleep, scoop up my testicles with your right hand and hold
them an inch above the sheet, without moving them. Keep them absolutely motionless."
"Of course, Rabbi," said Rosie,
and did as she was told, holding the rabbi's testicles free of the sheet.
For five minutes the rabbi slept, then woke
with a start and said, "I'm ready." And so he was, for, to Rosie's delight, he
was even better the second time than the first.
As she lay panting, Rosie said, "It
was wonderful, Rabbi, but one thing I don't understand. Why was it necessary to hold your
testicles motionless above the sheet while you were sleeping?"
"Oh that," said the rabbi.
"Well, you are a nice girl and I like you very much. Still, the truth is I don't know
you very well, and over there, in my coat, hanging on the hook on the door, is five
hundred dollars."
