WHY
VIBRATORS ARE BETTER THAN REAL SEX
- Vibrators don't have problems with gas
... Nor do they hog the remote ... Nor the computer!
- We can get a bigger one or one that has
better options whenever we want without being called a slut.
- Vibrators never go limp and rubbery, you
simply replace the batteries when it tires.
- Position is your choice, not his.
- You don't have to suck it.
- It works "while" the sports
games are on.
- It always is hard.
- It doesn't leave a mess behind.
- You don't have to wear an ill fitting
teddy to excite it.
- It doesn't care that you gained 10 lbs.
- It doesn't fall asleep and snore in your
ear afterwards.
- You don't have to clean up the apartment
before bringing it home.
- You don't have to cook it breakfast and
pretend to be interested in it the next morning.
- You can throw them in a drawer and only
take them out when you want to!
- They don't get tired after the first
time.
- They never poke you in the back in the
morning to see if you are in the mood.
- They never drink too much and embarrass
you.
- You don't have to tell the vibrator he's
the best you ever had!
- Vibrators don't prematurely ejaculate.
- Safe sex without a rubber.
- Vibrators don't ask who your Daddy is.
- Vibrators last as long as YOU want them
to last.
- You don't have to put up with the shit,
just turn it off when you get done with it !
- As long as you have a new pack of
energizers the vibrator can keep going and going and going!
- Vibrators do what you want them to do at
ALL times!
- Vibrators are portable so you can do it
anytime anywhere you want!!
- They never ask how they were.
- They don't burp, fart, belch or fall
asleep on you.
- You don't have to dress up for your
vibrator.
- You don't have to stroke its ego.
- They never wake up at 4 a.m. asking for
another get-go.
- It doesn't leave a wet spot.
- You can carry it with you at all times,
and not feel obligated to feed it.
- It doesn't require "a little lip
action" to get hard
- It has no problem finding the "g
spot."
- You know exactly where its been.
- Vibrators don't care if you get crumbs in
the bed.
 
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