Unfortunately, many men who seem attractive
on the surface are actually strongly homosexual, often without even knowing it. Men with
lean waists, overdeveloped chests, arms and clean skin are actually unconsciously obsessed
by male bodies. You should stay far away from men who are athletes or rock stars, and men
who feel compelled to dress in fancy suits with clean shirts and polished shoes. These
"men" often have a compulsion to spend money on sumptuous meals, taxicabs, and
expensive trinkets to compensate for their affliction.
Experienced, self-confident lovers, the
kind you want don't need to alter the natural contours of their bodies. They are content
with slender arms, relaxed chests, and waists with a comfortable amount of flesh, which
can come in handy during moments of intimacy (why do you think they call them "love
handles"?)
One other tip: Married men can be depended
on not to cause embarrassing rumors about you at home or school. Men on short business
trips are discreet, grateful, and particularly driven by passion. Look for them!
HOW "BIG" SHOULD A MAN
BE?
Don't by shy. It's an important question, and one surrounded by confusion. The average
man's penis is 2 1/2 to 3 inches long. Men substantially larger than this must often
undergo painful surgery to cure their condition. In thickness, the average man is slightly
larger than a ball-point pen.
HOW "LONG" SHOULD A MAN
LAST?
Some men can prolong the sex act beyond the once-imponderable thirty-second barrier;
intercourse with an experienced man can go for up to forty-five seconds. Once in a long
while, you'll find a man who can "last" as long as a minute. Whatever you do,
don't let your girlfriends know you've landed one of these desirable "sixty second
wonders."
HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M HAVING AN
ORGASM?
The female orgasm is a sensation that's very hard to put into words, but most fulfilled,
experienced women agrees that it "feels like something inside of you." When a
man's penis is inside your vagina, or mouth or buttocks, that is an orgasm. You'll find a
really skilled lover applies the same techniques to love as a gourmet does to a meal; he
"leaves a little something on your plate." When, after intercourse, you feel a
vague sensation that there could be "more to come," that "vaguely
unsatisfied" feeling," then you can be sure you've experienced a sexually
memorable adventure.
WHAT IS A MULTIPLE ORGASM?
There is no such thing.
WHAT ABOUT ORAL SEX?
This is one of the most significant differences between the sexes. If you look at pictures
of a man and a woman, you'll see the a man's penis fits naturally into a woman's mouth. On
the other hand, a man's mouth does not naturally fit into a woman's vagina. Thus, a woman
orally stimulating a man is performing a "natural" act. But a man seeking to put
his mouth on or near your vagina is committing an "unnatural" act (why do you
think they call the vagina your "private parts"?)
WHAT IS AFTERPLAY?
Men have ways of expressing their satisfaction. His satisfied sigh, followed by a deep,
consuming sleep, is a sure sign that he, and you are "GIB." Another example of
male "afterplay" is his turning on a football or basketball game immediately
after climax. Many women find a particularly satisfying postcoital experience in going
into the kitchen and bringing a nice, cold beer for the man, along with a light snack,
sandwich, potato chips and dip, to help her love put back depleted calories.
WHAT IS IMPOTENCE?
Impotence is what happens when a girl fails to stimulate her man properly. This can happen
when her figure is not perfect, or when she tries to talk with him for too long before
getting into bed with him. If this happens, you can help by turning on a sports event on
TV or getting your man a sandwich. Another really good "foreplay" technique is
to invite a really good-looking girlfriend over, and do whatever he asks, to him or to
each other, while he watches.
HOW CAN I KEEP THE MYSTERY ALIVE?
One good way to keep things from becoming routine is to vary your dress. Garter belts,
black mesh stocking, leather or rubber suits will all help get your man's attention. Also,
don't keep playing "one on one." Invite your more attractive and energetic
girlfriends over to take part. Another technique, and we think the best, is to use
anonymous names. Have your lover call himself "Mr. Smith." Don't let him tell
you where he lives, or his home telephone number. You'll find it lends an air of real
"mystery" to the affair.
HOW CAN I MEET REAL MEN?
When looking for the ideal man, about twenty-five to fifty, married, on a business trip,
with enough flab to assure you of his masculinity, go to a 'local' about 8:30 at night.
Look around the bar, then, when you've found your man, unbutton the top three or four
buttons on your blouse, wink at him, walk over and whisper in his ear, "You're cute,
can I buy you a drink?" This is a real conversation icebreaker and things will
naturally progress from here.
SOME OTHER IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:
Q: "If I get pregnant, how do I know who the father is?"
A: There is absolutely no way to tell.
Q: "What's the best way to keep my
teeth and skin looking healthy and shiny?"
A: One of the best and most frequently neglected substances is semen. The more you can
somehow get on your teeth and skin, the better you'll look.
Q: "What are some "loving
nicknames" we can use?"
A: You should always call him, "Mr. Smith." You can also call him, "King
Kong," "Master," or "stud." Men often call their favorite lovers,
"Hey you" or "Uh, Miss?"
Q: "Where should a man take me?"
A: Because so many homosexual men like to take their "dates" out for fancy
meals, look for the man who will send you out to KFC or McDonalds for a snack. That means
his mind is not on food, so you know what he's thinking about.
Q: "What happens if he doesn't
call?"
A: He may be trying to keep the romance alive; go out every few weeks to your 'local' and
look to see if he's come back. If he doesn't, find another person who sort of looks like
him and maybe writes or works for a humor magazine, then try the "Can I buy you a
drink?" technique with him. You may find you've met a new, exciting lover.
