YOU KNOW YOU'RE A HO
WHEN...
- You've slept with Geraldo Rivera.
- You become a Vaseline spokesperson.
- You go through a Sealy Mattress (tm) a
week.
- Frederick actually comes to your door
himself just to see where 1/2 of his orders go.
- When people say, "Ho, Ho, Ho"
and it's July.
- Your baby looks familiar, but like who?
- When they change your # to 976.
- Tetracycline is your best friend.
- McDonald's calls you "The Happy
Meal."
- Changing your sheets comes more than once
a day.
- When you've got a "Take a
Number" machine at your door.
- When getting dressed is not part of your
day.
- Your day starts and ends by rolling over.
- When your screams are heard over a fire
alarm.
- When you're wearing more latex than
spandex.
- When your ceiling mirrors fog.
- When the Marine Corps does recruitment
outside your door.
- When you have a neon sign saying,
"Open All Night."
- You want to have your name changed to
Misty.
- Madonna comes to you for pointers.
- When your favorite quote is, "Next
please."
- When Guinness Book starts calling.
- When every song reminds you of someone,
but who?
- When he doesn't even have to buy you a
drink.
- When you have a room key to every hotel
in town.
- When Holiday Inn is coming after you for
their linen.
- Motel 6 signals you in with runway
lights.
- The only place you haven't had sex is on
the moon.
- When soft foods have become distasteful.
- When you and your cat have the same
tongue consistency.
- When other women begin to call you,
"Man's Best Friend."
- You and Prince have already made 3
records.
 
|
