* "I've smoked fatter joints
than that."
* "Ahh, it's cute."
* "I'm sorry."
* "Who circumcised you?"
* "Why don't we just cuddle?"
* "You know they have surgery to fix that."
* "It's more fun to look at."
* "Make it dance."
* "You know... there's a tower in Italy like that."
* "Wow, and your feet are so big."
* "My last boyfriend was 4" bigger."
* "It's OK, we'll work around it."
* "Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?"
* "Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh."
* (giggle and point)
* "Can I be honest with you?"
* "My 8-year-old brother has one like that."
* "Let me go get my tweezers."
* "How sweet, you brought incense."
* "This explains your car."
* "Maybe if we water it, it'll grow."
* "Thanks, I needed a toothpick."
* "Are you one of those pygmies?"
* "Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?"
* "All right, a treasure hunt!"
* "I didn't know they came that small."
* "Why is God punishing you (or ME for that matter)?"
* "At least this won't take long."
* "Let's just stick with your hand."
* "Do you need a splint to prop that up."
* "How interesting..."
* "I never saw one like that before."
* "But it still works right?"
* "Do you take steroids?"
* "I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick."
* "Maybe it looks better in natural light."
* "I think there's a dildo around here somewhere."
* "Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?"
* "Let me know when you're done."
* "Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident."
* "Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?"
* "Aww, it's hiding."
* "Are you cold?"
* "Is that an optical illusion?"
* "What is that?"
* "Does this run in your family?"
* "I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry."
* "Were you neutered?"
* "It's a good thing you have so many other talents."
* "Does it come with an air pump?"
* "So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality."
* "Where are the puppet strings?"
* "Deep throat? I doubt it'll reach my tongue!"
* "Your big gun is more like a BB gun."
* "Can you get this pencil out of me now?"
* "Do I hang my hat on it?"
* "Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!"
* "Don't hold back."
* "Nevermind, why bother?"
THINGS TO SAY TO A
MAN WITH A HUGE PENIS:
* "Am I dreaming?"
* "Can I keep you?"
* Get down on your knees, look heavenward and say, "Thank you God"
* And the most vital thing to say to a man with a huge penis, "I DO!"
