THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
OF LOVE
I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt
squeeze no others before me.
II. Thou shalt not take the name of
thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.
III. Remember our Anniversary, and
keep it holy. Or else!
IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE
are too damn weird.
V. Thou shalt not kill my love by
behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.
VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery,
nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what's good for thee.
VII. Thou shalt not steal from my
purse/wallet while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance
calls from my telephone.
VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our
personal problems to our friends.
IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher
market price of thy neighbor's house.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbor's squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW.
 
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