A chubby bloke was reading the paper one
day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he
sees is an advertisement for a "Guaranteed" weight loss program.
"Guaranteed like heck" he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they think
they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3-day, 10-pound weight loss
program.
The next day there comes a knock at his
door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19-year-old babe
dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces
herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can
catch me, you can have me." Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A
few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
After they are through, he thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company
does business."
For the next two days, the same girl shows
up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself, and sure
enough he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat slender physique, not to
mention the method of "treatment," he calls the company back and subscribes to
their 5-day, 20-pound weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days
seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule might be
like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a
knock at his door. When he answers it, there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in
nothing but a pair of Reebok's and a sign around her neck. She is simply stunning and the
most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the
weight loss company. The sign reads "If you can catch me, you can have me." He's
out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch
her. But when he does it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
He is really looking forward to the next
four days....For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens
each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he
has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he thinks to himself, "I
never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun!"
Feeling much better about himself, he
decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7-day, 50-pound weight loss
program. "Are you sure, sir?"
asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," says he, "I
love your program. I haven't felt this good in years!"
The next day there comes a knock at his
door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200-pound perfect
specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He
introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads,
"If I can catch you, I can have you."
