CAMPING
TIPS
* When using a public campground, a tuba
placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
* Get even with a bear who raided your food
bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
* Old socks can be made into high fiber
beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.
* When smoking a fish, never inhale.
* A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag
will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks
between your toes.
* The best backpacks are named for national
parks or mountain ranges.
* Steer clear of parks named for landfills.
* While the Swiss Army Knife has been
popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade
functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
* Modern rain suits made of fabrics that
"breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze,
cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness
experience.
* Lint from your navel makes a handy fire
starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
* You'll never be lost if you remember that
moss always grows on the north side of your compass.
* You can duplicate the warmth of a
down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
* When camping, always wear a long-sleeved
shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
* You can compress the diameter of your
rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
 
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