TRUE CONFESSIONS OF
A GOLFER
A man goes to the confessional.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
"What is your sin, my child?" the
priest asks back.
"Well," the man starts, "I
used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible."
"When did you do use this awful
language?" said the priest.
"I was golfing and hit an incredible
drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that
was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about
100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Father." Said the man.
"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and
began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asked
the priest again.
"Well, no," said the man,
"You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the
squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asked
the amazed priest.
"No, not yet." The man replied.
"As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. And
as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked the
now impatient priest.
"No, because as the ball fell it
struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a
sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."
"You missed the damn putt, didn't
you?" sighed the priest.
 
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