13 THINGS YOU WON'T
HEAR AT THE DAYONA 500
Copyright 1999 Chris White
The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com
13) "None for me, thanks. That Skoal
will do a number on your teeth."
12) "Tampax! Get 'cha Tampax
here!"
11) "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the
race."
10) "Sex with your sister!? Man,
that's sick."
9) "My GOD, this is a splendid
Merlot!"
8) "Hey, you with the large breasts --
out of the way! We're trying to watch a race here!"
7) "Chesterton, be a good lad and
retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attaché case, then fetch me some clotted cream
for my scone."
6) "What a coincidence, Hank -- all my
friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"
5) "These are even better seats than
we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"
4) "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at
'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."
3) "Whew! No more beer for me,
fellas..."
2) "Filling in for Dale 'the
intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance'
Flatley."
1) "...and now, singing our national
anthem -- international recording artist Boy George!"
 
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