CHANGES
IN A GOVERNMENT RUN BY PRO WRESTLERS
* Driving your fellow Congressman into the
turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.
* President now shouts entire State of the
Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera.
* IRS audit replaced by more efficient
reverse body slam onto enema.
* Government becomes a charade of
meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class
or manners - Hey, wait a minute...
* Free school lunches destined for the
needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.
* Sex scandals now involve even skankier
women.
* January 20: Inauguration ceremonies.
January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids Newt Gingrich is finally able
to wear his mask and cape out of the house.
* During House debate, it is acceptable to
yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair.
* Difficult finding interns willing to
accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal.
* Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The
Undertaker.
* Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around
Lincoln Memorial.
* Before: Mr. Vice President
After: Stone Cold Al Gore
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